I Am Not A Runner Yet...

Since the start of the year, I have run 47.23 miles, or just about the distance from Stephanie's house in Baltimore to the Capital Building in Washington, DC. Most of those miles have been logged in for my training program for the Cherry Blossom Run in April. All of those miles have been logged in with Stephanie by my side. While my attitude has improved so that I am not always kicking and screaming at the thought of getting out there, I am convinced that I wouldn't have made it outside of Baltimore without her presence.

No matter how many times I go for a run a week, or how many miles I accumulate, I do not consider myself a runner. I struggle with every run. I need to convince myself that it won't be horrible to go, whether it is two miles or seven. While running, I tease myself that if I can make it to that point that I can stop the painful process of dragging my feet forward at a quick sloth's pace. I haven't found in the long or the short run the runner's cadence where I can work out stuff clogging the spaces of my brain or set free things that my heart needs to release. Often I am concentrating on those steps, and whatever area of my body is the most painful at that moment. At the end of the run, I always love that moment that I can sit down, thankful the torture is over. I always wish I could have felt less out of shape and moved just a bit faster. My favorite part of the run is the long, hot shower or bath that follows. A close second is eating something sweet that seems overly justified.

I'm not going to stop running. I'm curious as to whether it will ever get easier or more enjoyable... if I'll get in better shape... if I'll become faster and better able to handle a five mile run without my mind tripping out at the distance. I'd like that to happen... I'd like to make running a habit, but I'm not silly enough to think that I am there yet.


Time: 48 minutes
Place: Pikesville
Weather: 20s
Distance: 4.1 miles
Feeling: Could this be getting easier?
Overall grade: B