Winter Wondering

How deep is a woman's scorn?

Somewhere, somehow, someone or something in the greater Baltimore area must have pierced Mother Nature through the heart. And she must be really, really angry.

How immersed can confusion be?

Or, maybe Mother Nature came to a decision--it was her turn to have fun... to partake in mind altering drugs, whether they be alcohol, mushrooms, or that one known as snow. And now she must be really confused.

How sweetly can prayers be answered?

My boss's daughter was left disappointed last week when four inches of snow led to only a two hour delay. "The conditions look very poor," the eight year old told her mother. A snow day was not to be... Her mom told her maybe she should pray for one. Maybe she did and her innocent prayers fell on Mother Nature's ears in a particular moment of compassion. Mother Nature rewarded the little girl for her purity of heart.

Something happened.

The irony of the picture above is this--while the sticks near the tear peeking out of the snow look like grass, they are actually three feet tall bushes. Those peeking sticks are the tops.

More snow is falling now--blizzard warnings are abound. In the front yard, there is already more than two feet on the ground. Two more feet are expected. We've already had three days (in a row) off work and kids already know they are out until next Tuesday.

The dog can't even touch.

Last week I was laughing heartily at 'wuss' factor found in Baltimoreans regarding snow. Having grown up in a northern state, four inches on the ground in my mind doesn't equate to a minute delay, let alone consideration for the day off. I'm not laughing now--this is like nothing I remember. (Or anyone else in the region, for that matter... Having over 60 inches fallen this season, it's the snowiest one EVER.)

An Amateur Cake Lady's Puzzlements.

In a certain (very small) circle, I have moved beyond my recognition as the 'bread girl' to the 'cake lady.' I am no Ace of Cakes Baker and if I ever tried to charge for my creations they would probably end up on this website. But these friends have come to rely on my homemade concoctions to celebrate birthdays and I am happy to oblige.

Making bread is a skill--to artisans (which I do not lay claim I am) a talent--that I am grateful I have learned. Over my tribulations during the year that might otherwise be blank of accomplishments, satisfaction sits with the fact that I taught myself (with the help of two very good books by Daniel Leader) how to bake bread (without a breadmaker!). Feeling as though you can provide for yourself and those you love one of the most basic needs (who doesn't know the most basic elements of food survival are bread and water?) is hard to surpass, especially when the process can result in something so tasty. I'm proud that I have learned this basic skill, one that my great grandparents probably used daily, and it certainly makes me feel more connected to the food I eat when I know exactly what is in the loaf and how it was made. Welcoming friends home to the smell of fresh bread in the oven or providing a fresh warm loaf to a dinner party provided the details that my ego required for every question that followed after.

Making a cake is something completely different. I often consider myself a puzzlement, and cake is just another example. It's no secret that I crave, need, love all things sweet... except cake. Unlike others who inhabit the dessert category, cake does not talk to me; it can sit in front of me for days. Sometimes I nibble on it (I wouldn't want to see it go to waste), but I do not crave it. Rarely before that year with too much time on my hands did I ever engage in making that sort of dessert.

Cake is still not my thing... and it will never be my favorite desert... but I find joy in the process (and secret tastes) of creating it. By making and caking for others, I can now bake a double layer chocolate cake with raspberry filling and homemade chocolate frosting with chocolate covered strawberries on top (the above picture). Or a super flavorful, not *super* sweet, lemonade cake. Or red velvet cupcakes with rich, yummy cream cheese frosting. Or a key lime pie topped with fresh meringue (wait a minute! that is not a cake! but I have made that successfully, too).

And yet, while I have made a couple of better batches lately, brownies--which I actually adore--still give me trouble. A total puzzlement.

Come Back Motivation!

I'm in a funk. I fell out of my routine (due to some unforeseen, extremely timely circumstances) and stopped going to the gym in the morning... I was on a roll for a while. I packed my bag--toiletries, a work outfit and even jewelry, coffee mug, breakfast bar, water, and lunch. I intentionally went to bed, putting aside silly tv shows or less silly book chapters. I woke up before the sun had risen and, despite my own internal monologue centered around how much I did not want to leave the comfort of warm blankets, got out of bed. I dressed in the gym clothes I laid out the night before. I left the house. I ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I did this every work day. EVERY WORK DAY.

Until I didn't--at first it was just for a day because of meetings at work... and then for another day... and then almost a week. I haven't been once this week and it's already hump day. Tomorrow I can already see the excuse of another meeting and Friday is Friday. Why start when I haven't done anything all week? Plus there is more work stuff that day, so... well, you can see exactly where this is going.

This always happens in January... I lay the best well made plans at the beginning of the year to do all sorts of stuff... and then the middle of January comes along and plans get... put on held. I listened to a doctor the other day explain how that is actually a societal trend to retreat during the winter months (aka seasonal affective disorder) . I believe it. While I am not depressed, I recognize the rut I am in.

Monday presents an opportunity. We are actually moving offices on Friday, so Monday I will be forced to establish a new routine. I know it needs to include the gym in that routine. I have no excuses--it's an ordinary week next week without much interruption. What will the outcome be?